A Review of Masochistic Excercises
Well, I haven’t posted in a couple of days, mostly because I murdered myself and am only now recovering…sorta. On Wednesday I was in one of those “time to shake stuff up” moods. First thing I did was take some trimmers and left a pile of what was once my hair. The second was to grab the Insanity Workout and give it a test run. Just for a little background about me, I am what others might define as “a fairly in-shape guy”. Let’s break those words down from back to front:
Guy: that anatomical composition of my body is one that might be referred to as “male.” Inversely, I lack the appropriate parts that would classify me as “female.”
In-shape: I run 4 days a week, rock climb, snorkel, yoga, wrestle alligators, scuba dive, jump off piers with a knife between my teeth, cycle, participate in extreme mud runs, ski, crush rocks in my hands, etc.
Fairly: I enjoy In’n’Out, Chipotle, any kind of ice cream/gelato, and I’m a complete gamer/tv junkie.
A: There is only one of me…most of the time.
Now, I am currently only on day 3 of the Insanity Workout and I went into it having no expectations. I assumed it would be on-par with P90X which I had tried with some friends for a while, but it was so much more. Here is a little taste of what each day has been like so far:
Day 1 (Fitness Assessment Test): “Ah, this isn’t so bad, I like jumping jacks and running.” Jump to 5 min later as I’m lying on my back and gasping for air, “What….the…f-bomb…is…this…?”
Day 2 (Plyometric Cardio Circuit): My brother comes home, “Hello? Is anyone home? Is someone crying?”
Day 3 (Cardio Power & Resistance): As of today, I’m finally starting to get into the swing of it.
Insanity is the perfect title for this workout. Just be prepared to start cussing like a sailor through every workout if you decide to try it. I’ll post pictures as I go along, see if I improve at all. I’m also going to buy a trophy for myself for each week I complete, because apparently anyone can buy trophies.
Signed,
Too exhausted to think of a sign-off…whose name is also Jordan
Day 1: Titness Assessment test? Jordan, you don’t have to subject yourself to such demeaning criteria for your self worth. You are beautiful just the way you are.