My Fairly Laid-Out Plans For An Island In The Sky
Thank you all for joining us for the first ever Jordan Inc. (“Making absurd dreams sound almost vaguely possible since 1986”) Press Release. I am happy to announce that we are in the final developmental stages for Skytopia. Today, I will be giving a brief speech on the different aspects of Skytopia, but please feel free to stop me and ask your questions as I proceed.
Ever since I was a child I have wanted to live on a floating island. Now in my mid-20s, I’ve had to let go of many of my more absurd dreams. Reality begins to set in around 25 years and you have to realize that you body was not made for outer-space, nor will you ever be rich enough to afford the parts to become a cyborg and destroy Maverick Hunters (I played ungodly amounts of Megaman as a youngster…and adult). However, as many of my dreams start to fade, the one that refuses to bend to reality is the floating island, and that is because it is still possible. If you are a billionaire investor joining us today, I’d like for you to play a little game with me. First, take out your checkbook and fill everything out except for the amount. Second, write a $1 on the left hand side of the amount box. Third, place a “0” to the right of that “$1” each time I awe you with Skytopia today.
Now, before I jump right into it, I have to admit that this plan is a long-term one that may not be achieved in any of our lifetimes. Although we will see its beginning, my plan only comes to fruition for our great-grandchildren. That being said, the first part of my plan involves building a large table-like structure to the East of Mexico City, Mexico. The table will have four large wooden box-beams that will extend about 6mi (roughly 10km) above ground; the lower levels of the Stratosphere. My reasoning for this is, in my purely speculative non-scientific-minded fantasy, it is at this altitude that my table-like structure would receive an adequate amount of rainfall, being relatively close to where precipitation begins. “Why wooden beams?” I will get to the choice of wood over other materials farther along in the discussion, but in response to your immediate question I will say that the 4-beam design was an upgrade from our initial gesture of two very high powered magnetic plates repelling each other, and thereby, lifting a large portion of landmass into the atmosphere. Moving on, the location I chose East of Mexico City was for it’s confinement in the Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt. The location in the Stratosphere above the active volcanoes is that the ash in the smoke will ascend and contribute to the cloud formation. Volcanic soil is known for being extremely nutrient-rich and it is my hope that these properties will be transferred to the plants via the clouds/precipitation to Skytopia, which will have already been soiled and seeded. You may be wondering “Why the Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt over other volcanic belts?” That is a fair question my astute investor. When we at Jordan Inc. began this project we had looked at the Garibaldi belt, the Taupo Belt, and the Andean Belt. However, all three of those belts run longitudinally, whereas the Trans-Mexican Belt runs mostly latitudinally, allowing for a focused crop and also placed locationally to the Gulf of Mexico (I will later propose that the Andean Belt may be an alternative option). Now, not only will the flat part of Skyopia be seeded, but also the wooden beams themselves. As time progresses, grass, vines, shrubs and all will cover the island and begin extending their way down the wooden beams until the Skytopia is completely organic/natural looking ( or as if someone just traded a cow for some magic beans).
I know what you are thinking, “How will anyone be able to live at that altitude?” Don’t worry, I’ve thought ahead. During construction, and the beginning phases of seeding, all workers will be required to wear oxygen masks while on Skytopia. After time, the plants themselves will produce enough oxygen through Photosynthesis that breathing will become easier. Now, as for the altitude’s effect on the head, one of the crops that will be grown will be Coca, which can be used in tea to prevent elevation sickness. Now, it is for the reason of the Coca plant, being restricted in many countries, that the Andean Belt may provide a great alternative location as its Northern Volcanic Zone stretches through Peru and Colombia, where this crop grows in abundance and without too much red tape. In addition, the proximity to the Equator may provide an increased acceleration of crops, and therefore the fruition of this dream.
Oh, yes mam in the back row, I see you hand up, what is your question? Will it be cold up there? Well, it certainly won’t be California beach weather, but because of the Skytopia’s location in the Stratosphere, the wind currents will be much calmer, thus producing less wind and chill. In addition, it’s higher altitude will result in more direct sunlight which will help warm you as you go about your day. However, during the night you should definitely be prepared to dress in layers.
I hope that answers all your questions about Sky Utopia. If there are further question, please comment of email Jordan Inc. because we are here to help.
Sky Architect of Tomorrow…whose name is also Jordan