My Students Might Be Trolling Me – Episode 1

Over the last couple months I’ve gotten a great collection of hilarious student moments. At first I was under the impression that my students were making the small mistakes a non-native English speaker might make…now I’m starting to get suspicious. I’m now starting to think that they may be playing English jokes on me:

Adventures in Konglish:

“A semi-accurate retelling of ‘Stolen Day.'”

I love this one. “Mom doesn’t care about me, I’ll just fish.” Now, the students are suppose to do a full page of notes on each story, but as far as I’m concerned, as long as they understand 80% of the story I will be extremely content. Just for reference, the boy in the story does not actually have inflammatory rheumatism, which I think makes the last three cartoons hilarious. When I asked this class what disease the little boy was pretending to have, another student said, “inflammatory enthusiasm.” I hope we all get inflammatory enthusiasm, it sounds like an awesome disease.

Way to prioritize those goals!

The assignment was to list three life goals that you have. This student’s goals were to go to 20 other countries, live in a large 3-story house, and to die of old age to make a scrapbook. I’m not sure which is more hilarious to me: 1) That she decided she no longer wants to die of old age (skydiving accident at 42?) or 2) That the only third thing she could think of was to make a single scrapbook. I asked her about her scrapbook a couple days later and she said, “Why would I make a scrapbook?” Maybe, she is only concentrating on the first two for now.

And the title of it will be, “The Book That WIll Blow Your Hard Mind.”

I immediately told his student that he has the same goal as me. Do I want to write a steamy romance novel…maybe. Do I want to write an epic Sci-Fi saga…maybe. Do I want to write a novel about a struggling writer in a city who meets someone who causes him to have an existential awakening and finally accomplish his own novel….maybe. All I know is that it better blow people’s minds…even getting the ones who have hard minds.

So, ravaged is a synonym for “critical damage” and lunged is a synonym for “teleport.”

“The helicopter teleported forward andcritical damaged the entire city.” To correct the student I asked him a question, “Student-name, can you lunge toward the white-board?” “Yes.” “Show me.” Then the student quickly lept towards the white board, grabbing it with his hand. “Ok, now go sit back down.” “Ok.” “Alright, now can you teleport to the white board?” “No I…oh, ok.” As far as the other one, I think “critical damage” just comes from the students playing too much Starcraft. Knowledge bomb launch detected.

As always, there will be a fresh dose of Konglish Adventuring next week!

Signed,

Teacher Getting Trolled…who also has a blog,

Jordan

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About Jordan Carver

I just love life, experiencing it all, and it is definitely better with more people participating. Whether it's surfing, rock climbing, or exploring the forests, it's always better to share the magic.

One response to “My Students Might Be Trolling Me – Episode 1”

  1. Diana Nguyen says :

    your kids are awesome.

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