Type-A Personalities and Tobacco

Sorry America, Korea has beat us once again. Throughout the world, America is known as the country where the people are always moving. We check our watches 60 times a minute, we have an incredible amount of incessant, jingling alarms set on our phones to remind us about everything from business meetings to successful bowel movements, and if our coffee takes longer than 15 seconds to move from the machine to our hands (God forbid) then that will be just one more unsuspecting barista’s head that gets mounted on the wall dedicated to service industry workers who have been proven guilty as traitors to time-efficiency and streamlining. Phew. Deep breath.

As you may remember from a previous post, I have started collecting cigarette packs from various stores around Korea. Now, although I don’t smoke, I do think trying these great inventions would be a fun adventure in itself. If nothing else, it would be an interesting item to add to the list, and then subsequently check off. My two newest packs of “death-sticks” prove the above sentiment that Korea has now moved to the top of countries that just doesn’t have time to sit and smell the roses blacken their lungs.

Everytime I look at these cigarettes I just wish they had been made earlier. I mean, think of how much more land Sir Francis Drake could have pillaged and how many more stories Ernest Hemingway could have wrote if he had only had these cigarettes. I mean, drinking time would have halved and smoking and pillaging/writing would have increased; Pure puffing of straight efficiency. Plus, one more bonus would be that there would be about 1 million bartenders whose lives would be better not having to crush mint leaves for 5 min every time someone needs their minty fix.

Coffee and tobacco together at last!

FINALLY, I cannot tell you how much time I have wasted having beans shipped over from Guatemala, ground up, and then blended with my tobacco so I don’t have to waste time boiling water in the morning…no, no, shipping stuff over and repackaging it in a tube is much easier. These cigarettes are totally going to revolutionize the workplace. Smokers who take a “quick five” to take a puff outside are going to come back inside and ready to knock out a pile of TPS reports (whatever those are).  Now, I’m a bit dissapointed in the package design. I think we can all agree that if that cat had a fedora and a cigarette in its mouth then it would be much more attractive to consumers…hell, I would start smoking if there was a cat that looked like Tom Waits on the front.

Enjoying a smoke and drink in one….and also writing a blog,




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About Jordan Carver

I just love life, experiencing it all, and it is definitely better with more people participating. Whether it's surfing, rock climbing, or exploring the forests, it's always better to share the magic.

2 responses to “Type-A Personalities and Tobacco”

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