When Percentages Don’t Work To Your Advantage

Well, here is my toothpaste that I use in Korea. First off, I have to say, toothpaste in Korea has not reached the genius that is Colgate, but it usually works pretty well for the job. I bought the above toothpaste without realizing what I had grabbed off the shelf, as we gentlemen are prone to do quite often (My dad trained me to “hunt” for what I needed at the store, not “shop”). Now, I continued using this toothpaste for the next month without ever making any mental connections or forming a problem with it in my head. Then, my girlfriend, Kate, and I had a conversation about the number that is listed on the toothpaste. As far as percentages go, 90% or above is a must for anything you are putting on a product going out for public use, i.e. – “Listerine kills 99.99% of the germs in your mouth.” Could you imagine if Listerine said, “…kills 67% of the germs in your mouth.” Since I don’t speak Korean, I came up with a colorful list of what the 67% might be:

-“Now with a hard 67% more toothpaste in the tube! Because you wanted more, but 70% more would have bankrupted us!”
-“People who use our toothpaste keep 67% more of their teeth than those who use rubbing alcohol instead!”
-“402 out of 600 Dentists agree, this is REALLY toothpaste. – 67%!”
-“Only 67 dogs were harmed in the testing of this toothpaste…but their teeth are wicked white.”
-“Now with 67% real toothpaste!”

Well, I’m pretty sure one of those is the correct translation, but if it isn’t, I’m sure 67% of anything is still a bad thing. That’s a “D” in any school institute (except in most Asian countries where you are only allowed to give a “B” for fear of losing school business), that’s not great chances for coming out of a surgery, and it certainly is not reassuring when someone says, “I’m like 67% sure about it.”

Just a guy brushing 67% of his teeth…gross.
Jordan